Bran of Greenwood and the Scary Fairy Princess

It's a simple story about a half-orc barbarian, an elvish thief, a nightmare, a quest, a kidnapping...I'll start over. It's a complicated and raunchy romp following the gastronomical and sexual adventures of Lana the light-fingered and Bran of Greenwood in their quest for a certain belt. A 2010 NaNoWriMo "winner," this is cheesy porn at its finest, best read after The Hunger Games. Yes, really.